


Reunion Tour

by hujgup



Series: Noveria [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Implied Relationships, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb, Replay Value AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-22
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-09 04:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hujgup/pseuds/hujgup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The game will never stop. The Ultimate Reward is glitched: instead of becoming the gods of a new universe, players are placed in a random session, where it begins again from scratch. New prototypings, new lands and, most importantly, different players.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dust and Echoes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sburb Glitch FAQ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/340777) by [GodsGiftToGrinds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodsGiftToGrinds/pseuds/GodsGiftToGrinds). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work contains terms which are assumed knowledge, but do not appear in Homestuck. I've tried to make it as accommodating as possible (you don't NEED to know the terms), but if you need help, I made a glossary at http://hs-ramblings.tumblr.com/replay_value_glossary

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering fraudantCreator  [FC] at 6:12pm.  
EB: ident check.  
FC: What?  
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering fraudantCreator [FC] at 6:13pm.

\-----

Twelve: twelve long sessions; years of searching for the others. Success rate: 0. John Egbert was a veteran player of Sburb, infamous within the community for his aptitude at mastering his allocated Aspect almost immediately, and for his reclusiveness. He never spoke to any other players. He would blaze through sessions almost unassisted, beating the Black King with minimal contributions from the others, even if they were God Tiers: then, without saying anything, or even sparing the other players a glance, he would jump into the Doorway to Infinity.

The greater Sburb community didn’t really know what his deal was. The most anyone had gotten out of him was one sentence, upon asking why he wouldn’t speak to anyone in their session. He turned his head, whispered the phrase “You are not the droids I’m looking for” and proceeded to clear a high-level dungeon in four minutes and thirteen seconds.

He was, in truth, on a mission. It wasn’t the usual variety of mission, where one could guess the time until the end-point; this was a mission that had the potential to continue forever.

He was on a mission to reunite with the players of the most unusual series of sessions ever played.

He was on mission to reunite with his friends.


	2. Perchance to Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god formatting is a pain.

beratedVindicator  [BV] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 10:25am.  
BV: Hey, you there?  
\--ectoBiologist  [EB] is an idle chum!--  
BV: Guess not. When are you ever there.  
BV: Anyway, team update.  
BV: Don’t know why I bother with this, you probably don’t read these logs.  
BV: Whatever.  
BV: FC has reached her Underworld, TC is *still* stuck on her Denizen and I’m about 40% done with my dream-quests.  
BV: There, nice and concise. Is that what you like?  
BV: Did you not read the others because they were too long for you?  
EB: i read all of them.  
BV: Ah, the recluse finally speaks.  
EB: i’m just bored.  
BV: OK, well do you want to just chat or something. I have some time.  
EB: i guess i don’t have anything to do.  
BV: That’s the spirit. So, what’s your name?  
EB: john.  
BV: Hi John. My name’s Samuel.  
EB: hi.  
BV: So, uh... ah sorry I’m not very good at this… what do you do for fun?  
EB: fun.  
EB: i haven’t had fun in a long time.  
BV: OK, not the answer I was expecting...  
EB: can you guys just hurry up and pre-trigger the reckoning already. i need to continue.  
BV: Don’t we all.  
EB: i guess that’s true.  
EB: look, you guys want to finish this session too right.  
BV: Well yeah, that’s the objective.  
EB: just pre-trigger the damn thing so i can get on with it.  
ectoBiologist  [EB] ceased pestering beratedVindicator  [BV] at 10:37am.

\-----

CURRENT beratedVindicator  [CBV] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board Session Control.  
SYSTEM: Warning: the administrator of this board has enabled time-locks to ±1 hour relative. Any persons attempting to respond beyond these points will be automatically banned unless a previous exception has been made.  
CBV: OK guys, we need to do something about EB.  
FUTURE fraudantCreator  [FFC] 0:12 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FFC: Why? He’s easily this session’s MVP. If you ask me he’s doing well for himself; if he wants to start with group cohesion that’s his decision.  
CBV: No, not that. I mean I think John’s mentally ill or something, I don’t know.  
FFC: Is that his name?  
CBV: Yeah. One sec, I’m opening the log.  
CBV: BV: So, uh... ah sorry I’m not very good at this… what do you do for fun?  
CBV: EB: fun.  
CBV: EB: i haven’t had fun in a long time.  
CURRENT truantCharlatan  [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTC: you actually got him to talk  
CBV: Yeah, said he was “bored”. He also asked me to tell you all to get on with your land quests already.  
FFC: What’s the deal with that kid? Most potent Aspect mastery I’ve ever seen and he’s all gloomy and anti-social.  
CBV: I don’t even know.  
CTC: well what do you want us to do  
CTC: what can we even do  
CTC: im no psychologist  
CTC: or is it psychiatrist  
CTC: argh who cares  
CBV: Just, I don’t know. He answered me, maybe he’ll answer you guys too.  
CTC: k ill try that i guess  
FFC: Me too.  
??? ectoBiologist  [?EB] AT ?:?? responded to memo.  
?EB: or I could just reply here and save everyone some time.  
?EB: fake gamzee can go first i guess.  
CTC: who the hell is fake gamzee  
CTC: or perhaps more importantly who the hell is real gamzee  
?EB: you’re fake gamzee dickwad.  
CTC: ok my first question is what kind of a name is gamzee  
?EB: shut up. next question.  
CBV: Yeah, what’s with your time-stamp?  
?EB: it’s always been like that. i guess it’s a carryover from the shenanigans.  
CBV: What shenanigans?  
?EB: that’s not important. the entire thing is so convoluted you’d think i was a really desperate sand player.  
FFC: OK, why do you want us to hurry up?  
?EB: i need to continue.  
FFC: God damn it stop being so vague; continue what?  
?EB: a search.  
FFC: For what?  
?EB: i have a question for you. why are all the players i’ve met human.  
CBV: Uhh, IDK. Humans always seem to get paired up with humans. Why?  
?EB: not important.  
CTC: ok what the hell is your deal dude  
CTC: youre being really cryptic about this crap  
?EB: stop prying. my business is my business, not yours.  
?EB: this question session is over. if you don’t hurry up and build your damn spires i will do it for you.  
SYSTEM: Warning: Unauthorized entity in system.  
?EB: this memo is over.  
??? closed memo.

 CURRENT beratedVindicator  [CBV] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board Session Control.  
SYSTEM: Warning: the administrator of this board has enabled time-locks to ±1 hour relative. Any persons attempting to respond beyond these points will be automatically banned unless a previous exception has been made.  
CBV: How.  
CBV: The fuck.  
CBV: Did he do that.

 

\-----

 

Atomyk Ebonpyres were no match for him.

Thirty underlings died in five seconds. The Biclops' were turned. The Flow was with him.

He wished he could just have kept his native Aspect, but no. Sburb wants to make his life as miserable as possible.  He'd been wandering the Land of Jungles and Memories in this manner for quite some time. He hated this land, but he loved it at the same time. What did Karkat call it again? Quadrant Vilification? As he thought that, a hologram of Karkat appeared nearby, depicting him appearing in a flash of green and falling to the ground before the projector turned off again. That made him smile. His land had been void of electricity, except in his house of course, and after he'd repaired the Denizen Damage and completed the Terraforming quests, power was restored, and the second part of his land name came into effect. He got to watch Karkat giving a leaderly speech, Rose and Kanaya hugging each other, Bec Noir lunging at him, and of course the final victory; but that would have been too easy. Sburb is a dick like that. 

He was followed by a large party of Consorts, their main purpose to provide passive stat bonuses. They mostly chatted amongst themselves, the spectacle of John demolishing every enemy in his path having grown old rather quickly. He sighed as he continued walking.

“I walk a lonely road; the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's home to me and I walk alone.” –Winston Churchill.  
You aren't entirely sure if Winston Churchill said that, but you don't really care.

 

\-----

 

fraudantCreator  [FC] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 1:11pm.  
FC: Hey.  
EB: what?  
FC: Mr. Boss Guy said he wanted us to talk to you.  
EB: ...  
EB: his name is samuel boss guy.  
EB: that is the dumbest name i’ve ever heard.  
FC: No, god damn it, that’s just his nickname.  
FC: Anyone whose surname really was Boss Guy is begging to be PK’d.  
EB: dude don’t kill players.  
FC: I never said that I would...  
FC: Well that escalated quickly.  
FC: Look, let’s start this again.  
FC: Hi John, my name’s Georgia.  
FC: My interests include video games, eating and _not being dicked around._  
EB: and why do i need to know this?  
FC: Because you have been dicking me around, and I don’t appreciate that. Now: tell me what your deal is, and no cryptic BS.  
EB: if it’ll get you to stop bothering me, how can i refuse?  
FC: Drop the sarcasm.  
FC: Now: what are you searching for?  
EB: who.  
FC: Huh?  
EB: the correct question is who am i searching for.  
FC: OK smartass, who are you searching for? And please be condescending in your answer.  
EB: that’s one person i’m not searching for.  
EB: why do you care anyway. odds are you’ve never met them.  
FC: Just tell me.  
EB: no.  
fraudantCreator  [FC] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 1:26pm.

beratedVindicator  [BV] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 1:34pm.  
EB: what.  
BV: OK, I’ll make this quick since you’re probably going to say no.  
BV: We’ve arranged the sequence of [Unbreakable Unions] in such a way that only one person has to pair up with you, and that person is me.  
EB: how.  
BV: I'll show you a chart later.  
BV: I’ve expended my others, so now I need to ask you whether you want to pair up with me.  
BV: Inb4No.  
EB: ...  
EB: whatever. i need an objective. just killing underlings with nothing to work towards is surprisingly boring.  
EB: plus i need a break from these fucking projectors.  
BV: What, really? OK then, see you on LOSAT.  
EB: which one is losat.  
BV: The one that looks like a black spiked mace ball.  
EB: ok.  
ectoBiologist  [EB] ceased pestering beratedVindicator  [BV] at 2:05pm.

 

\-----

 

The Land of Spires and Tectonics really did look like a gigantic mace ball.

Black spires protruded from a black surface that re-arranged itself every hour. Nothing was static on LOSAT. John flashed out of a gate and began to search, eventually finding him sitting on a couch eating Potato Chips.  
“Hey,” you say.  
Sam turns around, taking in your appearance, and makes a hand motion that seemed to indicate that he wanted you to take a seat.  
“So, you know about Unbreakable Unions?” he says as you plant yourself on a chair.  
“Yeah. Dumb name if you have to swap them around all the time.”  
“Sburb nomenclature is pretty dumb.”  
“So when are we going to start?”  
Sam turns his head towards you.  
“What, right now?”  
“I thought that was why you invited me here.” You shrug. “If that’s wrong I can just leave.”  
“No no no, I just thought maybe we could, like, get to know each other first? It’s going to be hard to work as a unit if we’re strangers to each other.”  
“What is with everyone and questions?”  
“They just want to get to know you.”  
“Actually, you told them to try and get to know me.”  
“That doesn’t matter.” He sits up. “So, why don’t you ever initiate conversations?”  
“I initiated this one. And the one where we first spoke.”  
“All you said was “ident check” and then you left!”  
“You’d already given me the answer I was seeking.”  
“Argh, stop being so cryptic!”  
You sigh. “Fine, since everyone things I’m “so cryptic”, what do you want to know?”  
“What happened to you?”  
“Um, we’ve never seen each other in person before? Do you have a shrine that plays footage from secret cameras your friends installed in my house?”  
“I mean how did you get to where you are now?”  
“I was standing up, and then I sat down.”  
“Never mind.”  
A spire moves past the window (or did the house move past the spire?) as Sam slumps into the couch.  
“You’re a really hard person to talk to.” he says.  
“This isn’t even my final form.”  
He laughs at that. “See, I don’t get why you’re so reclusive. You can be funny.”  
“You aren’t my friends.”  
“We don’t need to be friends to speak to each other! Everyone who you call your friend was a stranger to you once.”  
“80% true, I guess.”

You talk like this for a while, him trying to pry more information from you, while weaving around your verbal minefield; at the same time, you try to steal his Potato Chips.

This [Unbreakable Union] thing just might work.


	3. Movement(s) of the Odyssey

“Behold my robes!”

The two of you kick the Secret Consort off a ledge and place the final Totem in its slot, opening the entrance to the Co-op Dungeon that Sam had stumbled across earlier in his travels. The two of you enter, descend a flight of stairs and are greeted by a three-storey antechamber.  
“Perfect! If there’s one thing I hate more than the Denizen quests, it’s wide-open, ascend-type Dungeons,” Sam says, stepping out into the room. “I mean multi-storeyed ones I can understand, but this crap is just-“ click.

An arrow flies past Sam’s head, impacting the wall behind him.

“Pressure plates,” you say, looking down onto the floor. On top of three-quarters of them you can see the symbol for trap, and on the others, the symbol for Horde. “Watch for the spawners.” He looks down at the plates on the floor and starts jumping over them. “Hey, God Tier, remember? I can carry you up to the top.” He looks towards you for a second and loses his footing, his body rolling across seven spawners.

“Ow.”

The walls in front of him open up to reveal a horde of Underlings. They advance towards his position while he fumbles, trying to equip his Specibus. You sigh and throw a lance at the Imp closest to him, shattering it into Grist fragments. They land on more pressure plates, releasing more Underlings. Something crashes above them, causing Sam to lose his balance again and fall onto even more spawners.

“Oh for fucks sake,” you say. Underlings die, being replaced by ten more every few seconds as you and Sam try to hold off the horde. An enormous bang rattles through the Dungeon, causing you to lose your hearing. You look around, confused, and lock your eyes on Sam.

“John, get out of the way!”

Sam was hugging the wall, desperately trying not to be crushed as a chunk of the planet carves its way through the Dungeon they were trying to clear. You start using The Flow to find the path of least resistance around the mountain. Underlings scramble past, trying to get out of the way; many were not successful. The Grist clings to the sides of the mountain as it drills through the floor; you watch as it continues as if nothing had happened. You glance over to where Sam was, making sure he’s okay. You walk over and give him a hand, helping him rise to his feet.

“This land is the dumbest piece of shit I have ever encountered.” he pants. “Bits of the damn planet like to carve through Dungeons, Consort villages, even my damn Quest Bed, and that’s made of bedrock!” Sam walks to gather the spoils left behind by the Movement, it having crushed the Dungeon’s boss monster on the way through. You head for the Exodus Doorway to make sure there isn’t an ambush waiting outside.  
“Uh… Sam, you’ll want to see this.”  
“What is it?” he says as he makes his way over to you, taking a peek through the Doorway.

“…Oh.”

The mountain hadn’t been moving; it had been stationary the entire time. It was the Dungeon that had moved. And they were stuck underground.  
“Perfect!” he yells, raising his hands in mock-surrender as he turns around, exasperated. “How do we get out now?”  
“We could try the way we came in. No Revelawesome, but at least we might get out.”  
They make their way to the Dungeon entrance, only to discover that it was also submerged.  
“So how do we get out?” you ask. Sam activates his Glove-Top and starts typing something.

beratedVindicator [BV] began pestering truantCharlatan [TC] at 7:01pm.  
BV: Need your help; trapped in Dungeon due to tectonic activity.  
TC: send coords  
BV: 48.804397 N, 2.12167 E.  
TC: on way  
truantCharlatan [TC] ceased pestering beratedVindicator [BV] at 7:01pm.

“Vanessa’s on the way to help us out,” Sam says as he turns off his Glove-Top.  
“That’s… TC, right?” you say.  
“Yeah; she’s a Breath player. She’s going to dig us out.”  
You sigh and lean against the wall. “Want me to spawn some more Underlings? Just to pass the time.”  
“Running low on Grist anyway, might as well.”  
You look at him, disbelieving. “I had a whole bunch saved up, what are you guys even doing!”  
“Georgia has... sort of an obsession with duplicating chairs for some reason.”  
Your face softens. “OCD?”  
“Maybe. Hard to tell, none of us are psychologists.”  
“Can I spawn the guys yet?”  
“Yeah, go on.”

You spend the next 30 minutes having a contest to see who can send the most Imps flying into the mountain-shaped hole in the floor using Sylladex ejection. Needless to say, you won.

About four minutes after your complete domination in the contest, he Dungeon starts shaking around you, wisps of blue seeping in through newly-formed cracks in the ceiling. It caves in and precipitates you with debris, the larger pieces being suspended by the Breath.  
“You guys want up?” Vanessa says as she floats above them.  
“He needs help, I’m fine,” you say as you float up past the point where the ceiling used to be, joining her.  
“Egbert!” Sam says, raising his fist at you. Vanessa levitates him and brings him up to the surface, with you following her close behind.  
“Thanks Vanessa,” Sam says as he starts to stand up.  
“It’s fine. By the way, have you seen the area around Georgia’s house? It’s absolutely _packed_ with all these damn chairs. Is she, like, building a fort or something? I don’t know.”  
“That girl’s whack,” you say as you sit down against the side of a spire. They both laugh at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How to do combat sequences?  
> This was going to be longer, but I couldn't figure out a way to keep the combat interesting.


	4. Out of Darkness

The cavernous expanse stretches out around them, purple chains pervading the environment. The creaking of the surface of Derse's moon could be heard below them, tidal forces generated by the moon's orbit being exerted against its surface. Sam stood in the Dersite Quest Crypt for one reason only; to Ascend.

"You sure about this?" you ask him, watching as his eyes dart around the environment.  
"No, I'm fine," he says, taking a deep breath and sitting down on his Crypt Bed. "I mean yeah, I've done this before, everyone has, and I know I'm not going to _die_ die but, you know, I still die."  
"Stop being such a baby," you jeer, "I'll do it. It'll be over before the damn thing goes right through you."  
He sighs. "Stop consulting me about this, nobody wants to do this to begin with. Just... force it down. Just do it."  
He closes his eyes as you raise your hammer above him, poised to strike out and end this phase of his existence. You bring the hammer down.

\-----

Standing next to his Crypt Bed, you watch Sam continue to be dead, refusing to be consumed with life. It's been 40 or so minutes since death; you waited for the usually instant resurrection to occur, and you continue to wait right now. You poke his face absently, wondering if he awoke on The Battlefield for some reason.

"Silence fills the empty grave now that I have gone."

Your head snaps around to view his face.  
"But my mind is not at rest, for questions linger on."  
Sam is talking. He's not dead! Well, he was dead, but that's beside the point.  
"Now I shall talk and you shall answer."  
"Yeah, you just keep being creepy. I'm still not telling," you say.  
"No, not that, I mean what do we do now? What comes next in the overall session plan?"

\-----

??? ectoBiologist  [?EB] opened memo on board Session Control.  
?EB: reckoning checklist, everyone.  
?EB: sam, is the frog ready?  
PAST beratedVindicator  [PBV] 1:32 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PBV: Yep. Vanessa’s here helping out as well.  
?EB: meteor to skaian defense portal ratio?  
FUTURE fraudantCreator  [FFC] 0:08 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FFC: 3:2 and dropping.  
?EB: location of black king?  
FUTURE truantCharlatan  [FTC] 0:23 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTC: five klicks north-north west from vanessa’s ascendancy slab or whatever that thing’s called  
FTC: and before you ask yes the queen is out of the picture  
?EB: aspect mastery percentage?  
PBV: 98%.  
FTC: 100%  
FFC: 97.3%.  
?EB: estimates to whether you’ll be ready at tc’s timeframe?  
PBV: Yes.  
FFC: Affirmative.  
FTC: i am already here  
FTC: the battles starting  
FFC: Meteor to portal ratio increasing...  
FFC: Holding at 3:1; we need to get going.  
?EB: everyone meet up at this location.  
??? ectoBiologist  [?EB] painted waypoint at co-ordinands [BLACK_KING].  
?EB: any last-minute questions?  
FUTURE truantCharlatan’s  [FTC’S] computer exploded!  
CURRENT truantCharlatan  [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTC: yeah  
CTC: did i just die in the future present  
?EB: how are we supposed to know that?  
CTC: a point i guess  
?EB: anything else? no?  
?EB: let’s hit ‘em.  
?EB closed memo.

\-----

Thud.

The Black King topples over, defeated by you and your companions. The Genesis Frog is planted, Skaia transformed from a place of war to a place of life, of cultivation, of a new universe. The platform ascends, the players transported onto it, the Doorway to Infinity unlocked.  
“That was under an hour of combat. You owe me 40 boonbonds,” says Vanessa.  
“This is bullshit. They’re just going to reset anyway once we step through,” says Georgia.  
“Yeah, but I still want the satisfaction.”  
“You can’t make me hand them over.”  
“No, but I do have collateral.”  
“Oh god please don’t.”  
“Hey everyone!” Vanessa yells, “Who wants to see Georgia’s baby pictures?”  
“Okay okay okay, here’s your fucking money,” Georgia says, handing over the cash she’d lost.  
“You guys on sburb.org?” Sam says. “Keep in touch?”  
“Username’s the same as my chumhandle,” Georgia says. Vanessa nods.  
“OK, look for a thread on the general discussion board under my chumhandle,” Sam says.  
You’re not really listening to the discussion; you’re too busy walking forwards, towards the Doorway, towards a new session, perhaps even towards your friends.  
“John, wait!” Sam yells behind you, but you don’t respond. You walk.

“My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me,” you hum.  
“John!”  
“My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating.”  
“John, don’t just walk away!”  
“Sometimes I wish someone up there will find me.”  
“John, for fucks sake! Give us your username at least!”  
“Too late, I walk alone.”

-The Beatles.

**\-----**

HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR USING EXILE_OS. PLEASE INPUT COMMAND.  
==> ACCESS SERVER DESIGNATION “EXT_413”  
DRIVE UNLOCKED. YOUR IP ADDRESS HAS EDIT PERMISSIONS.  
==> SEARCH “LOG”  
THREE RESULTS RETURNED:  
>1: MATHEMATICAL FUNCTION “LOG”.  
>2: DICTIONARY DEFINITION OF “LOG”.  
>3: FILE NAME “T3R3Z1_LOG”.  
PLEASE INPUT NUMBER.  
==> 3  
OPENING FILE...  
<file>  
TH1S 1S TH3 LOG OF T3R3Z1 PYROP3, 1NV3ST1G4TOR 3XTR4ORD1N41R3, ON H3R M1SS1ON TO BR1NG TH3 P3RP3TR4TORS OF TH3 GR34T3ST CR1M3 3V3R COM1TT3D TO JUST1C3  
TH3 CONT3NTS OF TH1S LOG 4R3 100% 4CCUR4T3

S3SS1ON ON3: TH3 3ST33M3D D3T3CT1V3 H4S Y3T TO F1ND 4NY TR4C3 OF TH3 SUSP3CTS, BUT SH3 KNOWS 1T 1S ONLY 4 M4TTER OF T1M3 B3FOR3 TH3Y AR3 BROUGHT TO JUST1C3  
S3SS1ON TWO: ST1LL W1TH NO S1GN OF H3R 3V3R-3LUS1V3 CH4RG3S, TH3 1NV3ST1G4TOR BUS13S H3RS3LF W1TH P4P3RWORK UNT1L H3R N3XT D3PLOYM3NT  
S3SS1ON THR33: TH3 SUSP3CTS 4R3 B3GINN1NG TO TRY H3R P4TI3NCE!  
S3SS1ON FOUR: M4D3 4N 4RR4NG3M3NT W1TH ON3 OF TH3 SUSP3CTS, DESIGNATION "K4RK4T V4NT4S": 1N 3XCH4NG3 FOR 4MN3SITY, H3 W1LL L34D M3 TOW4RDS TH3 OTH3RS  
S3SS1ON F1V3: TH3 SLY TROLL H4S B3TR4Y3D ME! H3 W1LL NOT L1V3 TO S33 H1S D3SC3ND4NTS  
...  
S3SS1ON 411: NOTH1NG  
S3SS1ON 412: NOTH1NG  
S3SS1ON 413: NOTH1NG  
...  
S3SS1ON 611: 0  
S3SS1ON 612: 0  
S3SS1ON 613: 0  
...  
1020: 0  
1021: 0  
1022: 0  
1023: 0  
1024: 0  
</file>  
==> WRITE LINE "1025: CONT4CT" HEX=#008282  
LINE ADDED TO FILE.  
==> END


	5. Roll Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my betas decided to go clubbing or something IDK, so if you see any quirk errors or something you can yell at them at roxy-lahonl.tumblr.com and putonyourwhorepaint.tumblr.com. (This note also serves as credit to my betas, you guys are awesome!)

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead  [TG] at 10:25am.  
EB: ident check.  
TG: hey john  
EB: ...dave?  
TG: no this is roxy  
TG: oh lokc at meh idek how 2 speel  
TG: whats with that anyway she knows how to spell she just doesn’t feel like it  
TG: its not like it’s a crime to not have perfect syntax of whatever over a god damn internet chat client  
EB: OH MY GOD IT IS YOU!  
TG: yes john  
TG: it is i  
TG: dave motherfucking strider  
TG: the one and only  
TG: tickets only $30  
TG: or order online and get a 20% discount  
TG: i missed you man  
EB: i missed you too!  
EB: meetup organization soon, watch for a memo. i need to check for the others.  
TG: no wait  
TG: can you just  
TG: i dont know  
TG: keep this window open  
TG: like talk to me while you do your rounds  
EB: ok dave.  
TG: thanks man  
EB: hold on, incoming message.

grimAuxilatrix  [GA] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 10:27am.  
GA: I Know Of Only One Person Who Has A Trollhandle That is Exactly The Same As A Game Mechanic  
GA: So I Will Ask  
GA: Is That You John  
GA: ?  
EB: kanaya?  
GA: Congratulations You Remembered My Name

TG: who is it  
EB: it’s kanaya!  
TG: no shit?  
EB: no shit.  
TG: oh my god who else is here

GA: Do You Know If Rose Is Here  
EB: no clue, you’re the second person I’ve talked to.  
EB: daves here as well.  
EB: incoming message.  
GA: For Me As Well

TG: someones pestering me  
EB: i think this might be it!

apocalypseArisen  [AA] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 10:29am.  
AA: state name and species  
EB: john egbert, human! hi aradia!  
AA: john!

GA: Its From Rose  
GA: !

TG: its from your ectosis john  
TG: jade’s here

CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board PLEASE MAKE THIS BE IT.  
CEB: all players in this session, respond!  
CEB: i think this might be what we’ve been waiting for!  
CURRENT grimAuxilatrix [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CGA: Ive Heard From You And Rose So Far And Have Been Informed Of The Presence Of Dave And Tavros  
CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTG: reporting in  
CTG: jade contacted me a minute ago  
PAST apocalypseArisen [PAA] 0:01 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PAA: im here too!  
PAA: i haven’t heard from anyone that hasnt been already listed as present.  
FUTURE gardenGnostic [FGG] 0:02 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FGG: is it really you guys?!?  
CEB: jade!  
FGG: john!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
CTG: and dave strider as the loveable sidekick  
CTG: featuring kanaya maryam and aradia megido as sidekicks to the sidekick  
CTG: from now on you are titled backkicks  
CTG: because we sidekicks own the sides get your own direction  
CGA: Well I Think That Proves That This Is In Fact Our Dave  
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CGC: YOU GUYS 4R3 H3R3?!?!?  
CGC: OH MY GOD 1T M1GHT F1N4LLY B3 H4PP3N1NG  
CTG: hey terezi  
CGC: D4V3!!!!!  
CTG: why is everyone so surprised that its me  
CTG: am i really that inconspicuous  
CTG: do i need to walk around with a shirt on that says  
CTG: hey im dave strider  
CGC: NO OF COURS3 NOT  
CGC: 1TS JUST TH4T  
CGC: 1 M1SS3D YOU D4V3  
CGC: 1 M1SS3D YOU 4LL SO MUCH  
CTG: hey shhh its ok  
CTG: well have a hardcore talk after this memo alright  
CGC: ...ALR1GHT  
CTG: <>  
CGC: <>  
CURRENT twinsArmageddon [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTA: good god get a room you two  
CTA: we do not need your pale fliirtatiion2 cloggiing up thii2 publiic memo  
CTA: al2o iit's called a feeliing2 jam  
CTG: whatever  
CEB: ok, checklist so far...  
CEB: me, dave, rose, jade, kanaya, tavros, aradia and terezi  
FGG: it is so good to see you guys!  
FGG: or talk to over a memo but who cares about that.  
FGG: this calls for a party!  
FUTURE gutsyGumshoe [FGG] 0:07 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FGG: I'll provide the cake.  
FGG: yes! your cakes are delicious!  
FUTURE timaeusTestified [FTT] 0:04 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTT: I'm going to have to agree with Jade here. Your cakes are boss.  
FGG: Aw, bless.  
FUTURE golgothasTerror [FGT] 0:06 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FGT: Any of you chaps seen roxy about anywhere?  
FTT: Yep; she's standing right next to me, hugging her cherub GF.  
FGT: Oh that's a relief. I hadn't heard from her so i thought she might not have made it!  
FUTURE tipsyGnostalgic [FTG] 0:23 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTG: yeah soz about that  
FTG: just callie's so wound up bout the separation and all dat jazz  
FTG: she is SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! but its just so hard to see her like this u feel me?  
FTT: Yeah, we "feel" you.  
CURRENT cuttlefishCuller [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CCC: -E-E-E-E---------------E! I'm SO )(appy to see you guys!  
PAA: feferi!  
CCC: ARADIA! Glub glub glub!  
FUTURE arsenicCatnip [FAC] 0:01 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FAC: :33 < HEY! those two were in the middle of a furry serious discussion!  
FTT: No it's OK, I'm going to have a private discussion with her when I catch up.  
FAC: :33 < oh well in that case...  
CCC: >8D  
CURRENT adiosToreador [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAT: iS IT REALLY, YOU GUYS,  
FAC: h33h33h33 your acronym is cat!  
CAT: oH, WOW i DIDN'T EVEN, NOTICE,  
CAT: hEH,  
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CAG: Hey! I think you're all forgetting a8out the most important person...  
CAG: Me.  
CAT: vRISKA, YOU ARE NOT, THE CENTER OF pARADOX sPACE,  
CAT: aLTHOUGH YOU ARE, BIG ENOUGH TO BE,  
CAG: I’M N8T F8T!!!!!!!!  
CAT: yES, YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT,,,  
CAG: 88888888RGH!!!!!!!!  
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] ceased responding to memo.  
PAA: i see she hasn’t changed much.  
CTG: i dont think anyone really expected her too  
CTG: this is spidertroll were talking about after all  
CURRENT tentacleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTT: “The Spider as an Artist / Has never been employed –-“  
CTG: oh my god rose please no  
CTT: “Though his surpassing Merit / Is freely certified.”  
CTG: rose stop  
CTT: “By every Broom and Bridget / Throughout a Christian land --“  
CTG: shut up  
CTT: “Neglected Son of Genius / I take thee by the hand.” –Emily Dickinson.  
CTG: rose you know full well you are the only one here who likes crappy poetry  
CTT: I know; and it’s not crappy, it’s cultured, unlike you. I guess what I’m trying to say is...  
CTT: Don’t fuck with my Moirail.  
CTT: Vriska has a lot of potential to be a much better, smarter and more creative person than she currently is: just because she’s not showing it now doesn’t mean you can just go and insult her like that, Tavros; her self-esteem is low enough as it is without a troll that can’t walk through doors properly telling her she’s pudgy.  
CAT: oH,  
CAT: sORRY,,,  
CTT: Just don’t do it again.  
CGA: I See My Lessons On Quadrants Werent A Complete Waste Of Time After All  
CTT: I’m still working on it.  
CGA: But Now You Have An Understanding Of Two Of The Four  
CGA: For Someone Who Isnt A Troll This Is A Remarkable Feat  
CTT: Why, Kanaya, is this making you lust? Seeing me partake in multiple relationships makes you... excited?  
CGA: ...  
CEB: uh... could you maybe take this somewhere more private?  
FGG: Yeah, that would be nice. Could you do that? Right now?  
FGG: Unless you’re done, of course.  
CTT: I don’t know, are we?  
CGA: Yes  
CGA: We Are Done  
CGA: For Now  
CGA: Greater Than Semicolon Right Parenthesis  
CTA: for the love of  
CTA: would you two kiindly 2hut the fuck up  
CEB: thank you sollux.  
CEB: who else is here?  
CTA: ii 2poke two eriidan earlier  
CTA: he’2 a2 much fun two talk two a2 ever  
FUTURE centaursTesticle [FCT] 0:03 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FCT: D --> I am also present at this gathering  
FAC: :33 < yeah, he’s b33n in my hive fur a while now.  
FCT: D --> So we did agree not to men%ion the wall I broke down in order to enter your hive, right  
FCT: D --> Wait  
FCT: D --> This is a memo isn’t it  
FCT: D --> Fudgesti%  
CTA: bet2 that he didn’t really need two do that two get iin and he ju2t wanted two 2how off his 2trength  
CTG: ill put down 20 boonbucks for yes  
CTT: 50 for me.  
FCT: D --> This di%ussion is making me perspire heavily  
FCT: D --> You will stop  
CTG: nope  
FCT: D --> Hnnrgh  
FCT: D --> Oh, thank you Nepeta  
FCT: D --> If you'll e%cuse me, I need to dry myself off  
FAC: :33 < ok he is just wiping himself down right in front of me.  
FAC: :33 < hold on.  
CTG: some people never change do they  
FTT: I hear that bro.  
CEB: the list stands at...  
CEB: me, rose, dave, jade, jane, roxy, jake, dirk, aradia, tavros, sollux, nepeta, kanaya, terezi, vriska, equius, eridan, feferi and callie.  
CTA: where'2 kk?  
CTG: wheres gamzee  
CGA: Gamzee Went Through The Portal With The Meteor  
CGA: He Is Locked In The Universe That The Portal Led Them To  
CTA: but that doe2n't an2wer my que2tion  
CEB: karkat stop playing around!  
CEB: come on, everyone's here.  
CEB: we know you're here, every session needs an even number of players.  
CEB: you are here, right?  
CTA: ii’ll force him iin, give me a 2econd  
SYSTEM: Warning: Manipulating the code of an application while it is in use is not advised.  
SYSTEM: Warning: unauthorized entity in system.  
SYSTEM: Executing custom command FORCE_JOIIN_ALL.  
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CURRENT arachnidsGrip [CAG] ceased responding to memo.  
CEB: come on, where are you?  
FUTURE beratedVindicator [FBV] 0:03 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the reason the dead trolls are alive is getting explained.


	6. Long Night of Solace

FBV: Wait, what the fuck?  
CEB: what are you doing here. you aren't karkat.  
CEB: how did you communicate cross-session.  
FBV: I don't know! What session are you in?  
CEB: uh, i can see 20 player lands.  
FBV: Yeah, we're probably in the same one.  
CEB: ...  
CEB: karkat?  
CEB: haha, great prank man, should’ve known you’d pick up skills from the master.  
CEB: but seriously, i want to talk to you now.  
CEB: karkat!  
CEB: this isn't funny, un-mask your name!  
CEB: KARKAT!  
FBV: Dude, I don't know who that is!  
CEB closed memo.

\-----

“John!”

You open your eyes a bit, dazed and disoriented.  
“John, we have to move!”  
A grey figure is standing over you, slicing enemies left and right with his dual sickles, protecting you as you awaken.  
“Hey douchecanoe, don’t just lie there, get the fuck up!”  
You dart upwards and bring the Pop-a-matic Vrillyhoo Hammer down on an enemy’s head, crushing it underneath. Karkat grabs your hand and runs, darting out so fast that some of the Underling’s attacks don’t have time to cancel, causing them to kill each other.  
“Well, you took your sweet god damn time,” he says as you continue to run, some of the larger enemies now in pursuit.  
“I can’t exactly control anything while I’m knocked out!” you exclaim, sending a thrust of wind at a Biclops, toppling it over onto a swarm of Imps.  
“This way!” he says, leading you straight through a wall and into the Skaian Magicant.  
“Can’t they follow us through that thing?”  
“No, they’re so thick they just think that we teleported or something.”  
“Where to now?”  
“We find a safer fucking door to exit from and try to meet up with Jade. She’s going to need our help, as well as Dave’s, if her plan’s going to succeed.”  
“Would someone just tell me what the damn plan actually _is_ already?”  
“You know the ring you swiped from Tavros? We’re going to give it to Jade, she and Dave are going to go back in time, gather all our dead friends, have them put their fingers right next to each other and have Jade expand and teleport the ring around all their fingers.”  
“So that we have more manpower! Great plan.”  
“Yeah, problem is that we were supposed to meet them through the door we just came from, but as you could plainly god damn see, that isn’t going to happen. We’re headed to our backup rendezvous on LOCAH. It should be just through here.”  
He pushes against a door and you both appear on the site of what was once a meadow.  
“They should be just over there,” he says, pointing to an outcropping of ruins a few hundred meters away. You walk there together, still shaky from when you were knocked out.  
“Hey John, you got the ring?” Dave yells from a staircase, him and Jade walking down towards you.  
“Yeah, here,” you say, throwing it to him. He catches it, examining it in his hands.  
“Looks like the one to me.”  
“Great,” Jade says, “let’s go revive some trolls! Thanks John!”

Dave un-captchalogues a pair of Time Tables, scratching one of the disks. He and Jade are sent back in time, leaving a red mist and a floating red gear where they stood a few seconds ago.  
“It’s all up to them now,” Karkat says, a glimmer of hope in his voice.  
“You look tired. You want to lie down?”  
“Yes, because I trust you to keep watch after getting a concussion. I’m fine, you rest and let it heal.”  
“Karkat, I’m fine!”  
“No you aren’t! And don’t think for a second I’m just going to stab you so that you revive completely fine.”  
“I wasn’t going to ask!”  
“Good strategy, don’t get me wrong, nothing heroic or just about it, it’s just…”  
“Karkat, I know.” You reach over and hug him, rubbing your hand in a circular motion across his back. He holds you tightly, and the two of you just sit like this for half an hour.

\-----

“For fuck’s sake, where are they?” he finally asks, pulling away from your embrace.  
“Uh… I don’t know, did you guys arrange to meet somewhere else?”  
“Wait… oh son of a-. They wanted us to go back and take the next door on the left or something, didn’t they.”  
“I don’t know, I’m not the one that planned this entire thing!”  
He grumbles and you get up, helping him to his feet. You start to walk back towards the portal.  
“It’s funny,” you say, “up there somewhere is the biggest battle ever fought in Paradox Space, and we’re down here, completely isolated from it. I mean, it’s not even that far away, it’s just at Skaia.”  
“The light does flicker every now and then.”  
“Yeah, but the fabric of space and time is being ripped apart up there!”  
“That’s what Kanaya’s helping with; she’s healing the breaches before they spiral out of control.”  
“What, she can do that?”  
“The Sylph class is defined as ‘one who heals’, so of course she can heal space.”  
“What about time?”  
“Time, not so much. That’s one of the reasons why we needed this mission. Vriska could give Kanaya her luck, so that she has a better chance of healing Time along with Space.”  
“I… guess that makes sense?”  
“John, how many times does someone have to explain this to you? Time is just another way of picturing Space and vice versa.”  
“Yeah, but Space is… spacey, and time isn’t!”  
“Okay, I give up. You believe whatever you want to believe.”

The two of you step through the portal and open the first door on the left, striding out onto LOMAX.  
“Took you two long enough,” Dave says, leaning against a stone slab nearby. “Karkat, say hello to your buddies.”  
Dave points to his left and Karkat’s eyes follow his finger.  
“Hey Karkat!” Vriska says, her eyes filled in with colour once again.  
“Vriska! Nepeta! Equius, Eridan, Feferi, Tavros, Sollux!”  
“Oh look, he remembers us,” Sollux says. Karkat just stands there, beaming; you like the way that smile fits on his face.  
“Wait, who’s the curvy-horned one?” Karkat asks, pointing to a female hiding behind the back of the group.  
“She just sort of hitchhiked along for the ride. Didn’t want her to, but Jade insisted she was ‘too cute to leave behind’,” says Dave.  
“Who are you? What’s your name?”  
“Uh,” she stutters, “I-I’m Callie. Callie Ohpeee. And I’d just like to s-say that it is truly an honour to meet you, Karkat Vantas.”  
“How do you know my name?”  
“She, uh, knows all of our names,” says Tavros, “we don’t really know how.”

The portal to the Skaian Magicant shimmers and Roxy steps out.  
“Hey, you guys quite done yet,” she asks, “there is sort of a battle happening right now, and the others would very much appreciate it if you guys weren’t sitting on your butts reminiscing.”  
“R-Roxy?” Callie asks.  
“Huh? Who are-“ her sentence is cut short as Callie runs out, her horns falling off as she brushes against Sollux. She tackles Roxy in a massive, friendly bear hug, smiling the entire time.  
“It’s me! Calliope!”  
“Huh? Wha- you told me you weren’t a troll!”  
“Uh,” Sollux says, holding up her horns, “I think that’s sort of obvious at this point.” Calliope looks away, flustered, and takes her horns back, planting them on her head.  
“Callie, you don’t need to hide who you really are, we’ll all respect you regardless of what you look like!” Roxy says.  
“No. I need to. For me.”  
“Is it just me, or is the sky glowing green?” you say.

A roiling mass of plasma materializes in front of you, resolving into the figure you’ve seen all too much in these past few hours. Bec Noir lunges at you as you throw Karkat behind your back. You awaken.

You’re in a session with more friends than you’ve seen in forever. You’re happy to see them, they’re ecstatic to see you. And yet, you have never felt as alone as you do right now.

The three years on the Prospitian Battleship, the twelve sessions since the final battle; in all that time, you had one thought in your head, one thought that rose up and gave your life a purpose, one thought that kept you going and gave you hope: I will see them all again. Not separately, not one-by-one, not in a dreambubble: for real. And now, on the cusp of achieving that goal, your hopes blow away in the breeze.

For the first time in your life, you contemplate suicide.

\-----

turntechGodhead  [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 8:22pm.  
TG: john you ok  
TG: cmon you havent talked to anyone in hours this isn’t like you  
TG: did you trap all your computers in your sylladex  
TG: just like old times huh  
TG: oh my god did i really just say that un-ironically  
TG: but really it is like old times you know  
TG: brand new session  
TG: none of that bs that happened later  
TG: just me rambling to someone who might not be there  
EB: it really is like old times then; me doing all the work, you nowhere to be seen.  
EB: wait, you just appeared in front of me.  
EB: dave stop flipping me off!  
TG: best use of time powers hands down  
EB: so you got time as your aspect, then.  
TG: hell yeah  
TG: time is the shit  
TG: dont have to worry about missing appointments or dinner parties of whatever  
TG: just finish one and go back in time until theyre all done  
TG: corporate execs wouldve killed for this  
EB: the adventures of dave strider, time travelling CEO.  
EB: coming soon on sburb.org/stream.  
TG: that would be the greatest show ever filmed  
TG: what did you get as your aspect  
EB: law.  
TG: if you restrict me from being generally amazing i will take drastic measures  
TG: shit be so drastic that itll tick over to insane  
TG: but seriously whats up  
EB: skaia.  
TG: you still think thats a funny joke  
TG: sad really  
TG: now stop bullshitting around and talk to me  
EB: i miss him dave.  
EB: i miss him so much.  
TG: its ok john  
EB: NO IT IS NOT OK!  
EB: he is out there somewhere in this FUCKING MENAGERIE of sessions, looking for us just like we were looking for him!  
EB: and now we’re here and he’s still searching for us.  
EB: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT?!?!?!?!?  
TG: you think youre not the only one who misses him  
TG: he was my bro too you know  
TG: an annoying shouty bro maybe but a bro nonetheless  
TG: and striders don’t abandon their bros  
TG: im working on a possible way to bring him here  
TG: but if it doesn’t work out  
TG: when we finish the session  
TG: i will not hesitate to jump back through that doorway  
TG: because no matter how long it takes to find each other  
TG: bros gotta stick together  
TG: to the end of time and beyond  
TG: that’s the strider code  
TG: you feel me  
EB: yeah.  
EB: yeah, i feel you.  
EB: ok. let’s get going.  
TG: you want to do some quests co-op for a while  
EB: thanks but no thanks.  
EB: there’s someone i need to talk to first.  
TG: whatever you feel like man  
TG: and if terezi thinks this is pale infidelity or some shit  
TG: and i still maintain that isnt an actual thing  
TG: she can suck it  
TG: peace  
turntechGodhead  [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 8:39pm.


	7. In Amber Clad

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering beratedVindicator  [BV] at 8:42pm.  
EB: so i guess now is the time to tell you about all this shit.  
BV: That would be nice.  
BV: It would’ve been even nicer if you’d told me earlier, but I guess we can’t change the past.  
EB: how many sessions since you last saw me?  
BV: Nine.  
EB: you were in my last one.  
BV: What? I didn’t think that was a thing that could actually happen.  
EB: ask dave, he’s the time guy.  
EB: anyway here’s the story about me and my friends in the dumbest but most awesome series of sessions ever seen.  
EB: so it way my thirteenth birthday and i’d just got sburb in the mail.

\-----

“I’m a member of the Midnight Crew;”

You and Karkat sit on a couch in the Skaian Magicant, watching a record spin on the gramophone.  
“I’m a night owl and a wise bird too.”  
Even when the fabric of the Furthest Ring is being torn apart, everyone needs time to themselves, or in this case, time with their matesprit.  
“Home with the milk in the morning, singing the same old song.”  
The team works in shifts: four hours on duty holding back the forces that would destroy them, two hours planning their next moves and one hour break.  
“Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun,”  
This of course meant that everyone’s sleeping schedule was fucked up, but the team couldn't afford to falter in their efforts.  
“Early to bed and you’ll miss all the fun.”  
Sometimes, in the hour-long breaks, people took a quick nap, sometimes they donated their breaks to the planning shift, other times, people just needed to spend time with each other.  
“Bring your wife and trouble it will never trouble you,”  
You lean into him, resting your head on his bony shoulder, as he strokes your arm.  
“Make her a member of the Midnight Crew.”

The two of you embrace each other as the record winds down, the Magicant falling into silence.  
“I’m scared, Karkat,” you say into his neck. “I don’t know what’s happening out there, whether our friends are alive or not, I don’t even know how the final preparations are getting along.”  
“We’re all scared,” he says, “we’re all confused, disoriented and just fucking hoping whatever it is that Roxy and Callie are cooking up is going to work.”  
“But I’m supposed to be their friendleader! I’m supposed to know what’s going on, to always be there for them; and instead of doing that I’m here, listening to shitty songs on an equally shitty playback thingy!”  
“Listen, you are ten times the leader I ever was. You’re doing the best you can with the resources and time available to you.”  
“But what if my best isn’t enough? What if they all die because I didn’t try hard enough.”  
“Listen here fucktruck,” he says, staring blades into your eyes, “you may not be perfect, nobody is, but speaking personally, I think you’re totally fucking ace. I think; no, I know, that you are the best person for the job. It is a stone-hard fact that nothing; not the passage of time, not Bec Noir, not having an emotional breakdown; can change the fact that you, John Egbert, human of Earth, are this team’s best hope of coming out of this alive, and if you think for a second of giving up, of just saying ‘fuck it all’ and walking away, I will bitch-slap you so hard that your teeth will fly into the Green Sun. You are the best friendleader a team could ask for, and don’t you think for a second that you aren’t.”  
“You really think so?”  
“I know it with all my heart.”  
“You’re just saying that.”  
“Um, yeah, everyone needs to say things in a certain way to commune a point. Guess what that’s called? Oh right, language.”  
You laugh. “I love you Karkat.”  
“I love you, John.”

\-----

“What.”  
“The fuck.”  
“Is happening.”

 “I don’t know,” you say to Karkat, “but it sort of looks like... a giant snake?”  
“Yeah, what’s it doing to the other one?” he says.  
30 seconds ago, a giant green snake slithered its way from the bowels of LOPAN, made its way to Skaia and challenged Lord English to some kind of ritualistic duel. He accepted. Now two absolutely gigantic cosmic snakes were breathing green fire at each other, destroying much of the Incipisphere in the process. You, Karkat and all of the others are standing on an asteroid, launched out of the veil a few days prior, that was now at the apogee of its new eccentric orbit around Skaia, putting your team farther out than Derse.  
“Uh, that’s sort of the play coming together,” Roxy says.  
“This was your plan? To fill the Incipisphere with two fucking slitherbeasts the size of... enormous?”  
“Pffff... fucking. It’s funny because it’s true.”  
Karkat’s jaw drops. “You mean to tell me,” he says, slowly and deliberately, “ that those... things... are pailing?”  
“Pretty much, yeah.”  
“Wait, so if one of those slitherbeasts is Lord English, who’s the other one?”  
“Oh, that’s Callie,” Roxy says.  
“That’s who?”  
“That’s Calliope. This is how their species mates. The only trouble is that English is technically her brother.”  
“Her brother?” Dave asks. “So your entire plan was to perpetrate an incestual snake orgy.”  
“Yep.”  
“I don’t know what to say.”  
“You don’t need to say anything. Just sit back and enjoy the show.”  
“Um,” you say, “shouldn’t we, I don’t know, give them some privacy?”  
“I said: sit back and enjoy the show.”  
“Uh, I’ll be in the Magicant... polishing my shoes. Yeah, that’s it.”

\-----

“Well, I guess that’s it then,” you say.

The mangled corpse of Lord English’s snake form is strewn throughout the Incipisphere; the victor of the duel rests their head on the platform you and all the others are standing on, morphing back into the shape of Calliope: her true shape, without the makeup.  
“Callie, you did great!” Roxy says, beaming at her.  
“N-No, don’t look at me,” Calliope whines, “I’m hideous.”  
“No you aren’t, you’re the cutest little thing ever!”  
“No I’m not, Roxy! I’m ugly and a skull monster, and the only thing I’m good for is-” she gets cut off as Roxy runs forward and picks her up, hugging her.  
“Callie, listen to me. Even if you don’t think you’re beautiful, I do. You are the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, and... I love you.”

\-----

“Only a few short hours ago we were in jeopardy,” you say, standing next to the Doorway, “fighting for our lives, indeed for all of existence, against foes only the most sadistic mind could dream up. But we were victorious. With the help of Calliope,” you gesture to her, “and the unexpected arrival of Slick and his gang, may they rest in peace, we defeated Lord English and the Union of Jacks. We can rest easy now, for the first time in years; and for some of us, for the first time in our lives. Today, we reign supreme over the forces that once threatened our utter destruction. Today, we stand poised to ascend to a level of existence that our ancestors only dreamed of. Today, we become gods.”

You step through the Doorway to Infinity and brace yourself.

\-----

This isn’t what you expected at all, but in retrospect, you should have seen it coming.

Credits.

[Music plays](http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/green-ghost) and names scroll past your vision: Audio Direction by Toby Fox, coding by Alexis Beingessner, and many others that you just don’t have time to read because you’re distracted by a small thing in the upper-left corner of your vision. It’s what looks like a small button, and it’s growing larger by the second.

It says “replay”.

\-----

EB: and that’s the story of me and my group of friends.  
BV: ...  
EB: i told you it was a long story.  
EB: anyway, i should go and check on dave’s project. see you.  
ectoBiologist  [EB] ceased pestering beratedVindicator  [BV] at 8:22pm.

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead  [TG] at 8:23pm.  
EB: how’s the project coming along?  
TG: im still trying to see if its feasible rn  
TG: this shit is hardcore manipulation of game code you know  
TG: like were practically trying to change the entire way sburb works  
TG: thats a colossal undertaking and one that im not entirely sure is possible from within the game  
TG: one thing i can say for certain is that it is possible to just not go through the doorway and stay in the same session forever  
TG: so thats one piece of good news  
TG: the prospects of getting karkat here arent looking too bright from were im sitting but it still might be possible  
TG: ill keep you posted  
EB: thanks man.  
EB: you take care, you hear me? remember to do your land quests and junk.  
TG: yeah yeah ill get on that later  
TG: for now i need a rest  
TG: talk to you later  
turntechGodhead  [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 8:36pm.

\-----

There are, of course, parts of the tale you didn’t tell Sam; parts of the tale that were too emotionally scarring to repeat to another; parts of the tale where you felt like the embodiment of despair, depression and damnation.

The parts of the tale regarding the death of Karkat Vantas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably put song credits in here somewhere. Maybe at the end.
> 
> EDIT: http://hs-ramblings.tumblr.com/post/49500744282/ok-i-should-probably-make-a-song-credits-thing  
> And yes, that's my Tumblr if anyone cares.


	8. The Gun Pointed at the Head of the Universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed it, there's now a glossary of terms (for those of you who haven't read the SG-FAQ) at http://hs-ramblings.tumblr.com/replay_value_glossary

Dying may be every Sburbite's favourite pastime, but that doesn't mean anyone's okay with it. To see your fellow player, best friend, or matesprit bleeding to death on the ground in front of you is just too much for a lot of people; you included.

Karkat lies on the floor in front of you, deceased.

Minutes in the past, but not many...

\-----

You and Karkat exit the Skaian Magicant, stepping out onto the Land of Frost and Frogs, where Jade had been frog breeding ever since she and Dave revived the dead trolls. She had recently completed all the steps necessary to create a healthy Genesis Frog.  
"Karkat, there you are," says Jade. "I know you have a bit of experience with frog breeding, so I was wondering; does this universe look healthy to you?" Karkat peers into the frog's tank, inspecting it.  
"Well I'm no expert, but I can tell you that it looks a lot better than ours ever did. Good job finding the right combination of genes; that bit took us forever, and we still managed to fuck it up."  
"Great! Now we can end this as soon as Roxy and Callie's plan swings into motion. What is their plan, anyway?"  
"They're being really secretive about it," you say.  
"That's Void for you."  
You can feel the air move subtly as something begins to descend into LOFAF's atmosphere. While Karkat and Jade busy themselves checking over the frog, you sit uncomfortably.  
"Karkat! Don't touch it, its skin is very delicate!"  
"Look, I just wanted to know what the fabric of space-time feels like. Can you blame me?"  
"Uh, yes, I can! Just ask me, Kanaya, Dave or Aradia about it! It's simple!"  
"Oh yeah? Tell me what Space feels like."  
"Space is like... well, it's three-dimensional, it's everywhere, and it's space! Okay, I see your point. Just a light touch." He reaches over to touch the frog, feeling its skin, the fabric of existence itself. You, meanwhile, are too busy being frozen in terror. You've found the source of the atmospheric disturbance.

It's Jack English.

He morphs his sceptre into some kind of assault rifle, firing at the Genesis Frog before teleporting away. You look over to find that the frog is fine. Karkat, however, is not.

He's bleeding out all over the place, his mutant red blood flowing off the ceiling and dripping to the ground below. You rush over and check for a pulse, a heartbeat, a nervous twitch, any sign of life you can find; and find nothing.

Karkat Vantas has expired.

But if there's anything you've learnt from Sburb, it's that there's a hell of a difference between dying and suffering from a minor case of death.

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering gutsyGumshoe  [GG] at 1:11am.  
EB: EMERGENCY. i don't care what you're doing, get to jade's roof on LOFAF right now, and make it snappy! karkat's dead.  
GG: Oh fuck. I'm on the way.  
gutsyGumshoe  [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 1:12am.

"Come on Karkat," you sob, "just hang in there; Jane's going to be here soon and she's going to do the lifey thing and you're going to be all better! You hear me? You're going to be fine!"

\-----

"Where is he?" Jane asks.  
"Underneath John," Jade states.  
You're just clinging onto him for dear life. You can't let go. You won't let go.

You don't need to let go. The lifey thing passes through objects to get to its target, phasing through you and infusing Karkat with brilliant blue energy. His body convulses as electromagnetic energy runs through his nerves, kick-starting his heart. You can feel his chest rise up and down against you and hold him tighter.

It takes a few minutes for him to regain consciousness. He opens his eyes wide and coughs up blood all over your God Tier outfit, but you don't care. You just squeeze him as tightly as you can, afraid to let go. He convulses, probably believing that no time passed since the shooting. He frantically looks around, checking himself for wounds; after a while he relaxes.  
"What the fuck is going on? 30 seconds ago I was petting the god damn frog, and then I'm here, coughing up blood! And stop hugging me so hard!"  
"No. I can't lose you again," you say  
"Wha- oh," he says. "Who was it?"  
"Jack English. Golden rifle. Tried to kill the frog. You were in the way. I thought you were gone for good!” You sob into his chest.  
"No, it's okay, I'm still here John."  
"Not by much," Jane says. "If I was 50 seconds late you would've been a goner."  
"Uh... thanks for that."  
"You're welcome."

\-----

"What's this all about?" Karkat asks, referring to the identical rings that he and you were now wearing.  
"Human thing," you say. "It's meant to represent inseparability."  
"John, there's no way I'd leave you."  
"No it's not about that. I want you to promise me something."  
"Promise what?"  
"That no matter how long we might be apart, through death and beyond, that you will always come back to me. Can you do that, Karkat? Can you promise me?"

"I promise."

\-----

 

turntechGodhead  [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist  [EB] at 4:20pm.  
TG: weekly project update  
EB: anything?  
TG: its not gonna happen  
TG: sburbs code is too labyrinthine  
TG: no wonder theres so many god damn bugs this code is a fucking mess  
EB: so you can’t get him here.  
TG: im sorry john  
EB: ...  
EB: we need to go after him.  
TG: no argument here  
EB: can you send us out to him instead?  
TG: nah i already tried that  
EB: so we’re stuck here in this fucking session while he’s still out there.  
TG: who said we were stuck

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NASA Images are distributed under a Creative Commons license and can be used freely if the source is acknowledged (http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/galex/pia15416.html).
> 
> Please ignore my shitty image manipulation skills.


	9. The Maw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaving this here so I don't ruin it with OOC brackets: you don't have to listen to the video, it's just there for those of you who want more immersion.
> 
> Also, I don't know what the plural for kismesis is, so if kismeses is wrong, someone please correct me.

EB: but i don’t want to lose you guys again!  
TG: theres no other option  
TG: not with the tech available to us  
EB: but  
EB: what about the others? what am i going to tell them? “hey guys, karkat’s not here so i’m just gonna leave now. i never liked you all anyway. peace out.”  
TG: john  
TG: youre their friendleader  
TG: its your job to make them want to follow you  
TG: so you need to do what you were literally born to do and rally the masses behind your cause  
TG: but first we need to unlock the doorway  
TG: and that means beating the game  
EB: ok.  
EB: ok i can do this.  
TG: never doubt your pulchritude man  
EB: im going to make a memo; check up on everyone’s progress.  
ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 4:33pm.

CURRENT ectoBiologist  [CEB] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTY TOWN.  
CEB: could everyone state where they’re up to with their land quests?  
CEB: also god tier y/n.  
PAST tentacleTherapist  [PTT] 2:08 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PTT: I’m grinding at the Negastrife, non-god tier.  
FUTURE tentacleTherapist  [FTT] 4:13 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTT: Update: completed the Negastrife.  
PTT: Oh, okay. Something to look forward too I guess.  
FTT: Don’t count on that.  
FUTURE tantacleTherapist  [FTT] ceased responding to memo.  
PTT: I would ask why I’m being so vague, but it’s probably because I remembered future me being vague, and acted in kind.  
PTT: Anyway, I’d better get on with this thing. Don’t want to cause a time paradox.  
PAST tentacleTherapist  [PTT] ceased responding to memo.  
CURRENT turntechGodhead  [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.  
CTG: just completed the saviour of the waking world questline  
CTG: and yes im gt  
CURRENT turntechGodhead  [CTG] ceased responding to memo.  
CEB: anyone else?  
FUTURE cuttlefishCuller  [FCC] 20:00 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FCC: I’m )(alfway t)(roug)( Saviour of t)(e Dreaming Dead, and I’m un-pyjama’d.  
FCC: Aradia’s COMPL-ET-ELY done AND Cod Tier.  
FUTURE cuttlefishCuller  [FCC] ceased responding to memo.

\-----

CEB: ok, so nobody’s really anywhere close to ready then.  
CEB: future me, can you provide a time-stamp for when everyone should be ready by?  
FUTURE ectoBiologist  [FEB] 576:17 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
SYSTEM: Executing custom command  CONVERT_(H-M)_TO_(D-H-M) on target [FEB].  
SYSTEM: Result returned as [24:00:17].  
FUTURE ectoBiologist [FEB] ceased responding to memo.  
CEB: 24 days until the reckoning, people.  
CEB: it’s time to get to work.  
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] closed memo.

\-----

CEB: i just went back and put the timestamp on. you all know the drill by now. meet here.  
CURRENT ectoBiologist  [CEB] set map zero-point at co-ordinands [BLACK_KING].  
CURRENT ectoBiologist  [CEB]  painted waypoint at co-ordinands (1.265 N, 5.1 W).  
CBV: Hey, quick question before we go. Why is your time-stamp normal now?  
CEB: is this really the time?  
CEB: whatever. it’ll take longer to argue.  
CEB: dave’s a player of time, right.  
CEB: he’s been modding sburb’s code and planting it in the past.  
CEB: that way we’ve always had the benefits gained from it.  
PTA: ii2 nobody going two men2iion how ii actually diid mo2t of the coding  
CTG: i would but i had to go back and edit out your damn quirk to make it work properly  
PTA: friick ii forgot two add a quirk tran2lator module diidnt i  
CTG: ok i dont know what that means so im just going to nod and say shut up sollux  
CTG: shut up sollux  
CEB: is that it?  
CEB: ok.  
CEB: let’s hit ‘em.  
CBV: You said that last time.  
CEB banned CBV from responding to memo.  
CEB closed memo.

\-----

“It’s done,” says Aradia. “It’s finally done. We can stop searching and just be together with each other.”  
“Yeah,” says Feferi, “settle down, get a beachfront property and spend the rest of our days staring into the Skaiaset.”  
“No, that sounds stupid. Let’s do something else instead.”  
“Uhh,” says Dave, “that’s not gonna happen. The project didn't work out; Karkat’s not coming.”  
“What are you saying?” says Terezi.  
“I’m saying we need to go back through the door.”  
“What?!? No, no no no no no. Do you know how long I spent out there? One thousand and twenty-five _fucking terrible_ sessions with almost no contact from any of you! I am not going through that again.”  
“I know it’s a tall ask,” you say. “But we haven’t come all this way to half-ass it here.”  
“I am perfectly happy with only half an ass, thank you very much.”  
“Well I’m not, and neither is Dave.” 

You start to speak to the crowd. “How would you like it if it was any of you stranded out there, still searching? How would you feel if you found out the people you called your friends, your lovers, abandoned you? What sort of friends would we be if we casually throw each other’s happiness away just for the sake of ourselves? Pretty shitty ones, no doubt. Now, I don’t know how long some of you were searching for this session, so I really have no place to comment on that, but that’s irrelevant. What’s important is one simple fact: friends don’t leave friends out to dry. No matter how long it takes; no matter how many game constructs try to block us, maim us, kill us; no matter how many failed meet-ups follow this one! In the beginning, we were all lonely. In the beginning, we only had small groups of acquaintances. But the beginning is over now: we’re headed towards the end, and nothing; not the passage of time, not the distance between us; can change the fact that we will prevail. We will be happy. And we will be free. So I’m going to step through that Doorway without a hint of regret because I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do. Who’s with me?”

“I am,” says Dave, “even though what you just gave was a generic U.S. Army No Man Left Behind speech. Let’s go after him.”  
“I’m going, too,” says Kanaya.  
“I’m not leaving KK behind,” says Sollux.  
A chorus of agreement rings through the crowd; except for Terezi. You step down and place a hand on her shoulder.  
“Terezi, we’re not going to leave you behind either,” you say. “We need you.”  
She raises her head and looks you straight in your eyes.  
“I’m ready.”  
You stand back up on the platform and take in your group of players.  
“Everyone ready?”  
The matesprits hug each other, the moirails comfort each other, the kismeses lighly punch each other.  
“I’m going to miss you, Feferi,” says Aradia. “I’m going to miss you so much.”  
“Try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone, Tavros,” says Vriska, grinning at him. “Making trouble for you is my job.”  
“Callie, don’t be scared”, says Roxy. “We’re all going to get back together soon, you’ll see!”  
Sam taps you on the shoulder and you turn to him. “What is it?” you ask.  
“Uh… why can’t you guys link up on something like sburb.org?” he asks.  
“Weird time shit. I might have an account, hold a conversation with Terezi, then suddenly I’m in her relative past explaining how to add formatting to her communications.”  
“Still, it’s better than nothing, right?”  
“Well, there’s the other thing, in that the trolls can’t link in to the signal.”  
“Why?”  
“Who knows? Might be because their version wasn’t called Sburb; wouldn’t put it past this game to put in a contingency like that.”  
“You take care out there, okay John?”  
“I will.”  
“We’re ready,” says Nepeta. The rest of the crowd nods in agreement.

You stand tall and survey the people standing before you; human, troll and cherub alike. You salute them and lean backwards, letting gravity do the work: you fall into the Doorway.

The final modification Sollux made to Sburb’s code kicks in as the credits roll past you: your favourite song, spliced into the credits, to remind you what you’re fighting for, and to inspire you to continue.

**_“I; have wondered about you. Where will you be; when this is through. If all; if all goes as planned; will you redeem; my life again? My life again.”_ **

**_“Fire the fields, the weed is sown; water down your empty soul. Wake the sea of silent hope; water down your empty soul.”_ **

**_“Fight your foes, you’re not alone; holy war is on the phone. Asking to please stay on hold; the bleeding loss of blood runs cold.”_ **

**_“And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own. And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own.”_ **

**_“I; have wondered about you. Where will you be; when this is through. If all; if all goes as planned; will you redeem; my life again?”_ **

**_“I; have wondered about you. Where will you be; when this is through. If all; if all goes as planned; will you redeem; my life again? My life again.”_ **

**_“And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own.”_ **  
**_“And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own.”_ **  
**_“And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own.”_ **  
**_“And I need you to recover; because I can’t make it on my own!”_ **  
**_“On my own!”_ **  
**_“On my own!”_  
** **_“On my own.”_ **

-Faunts.

\-----

HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR USING EXILE_OS. PLEASE INPUT COMMAND.  
==> ACCESS SERVER DESIGNATION “EXT_413”  
DRIVE UNLOCKED. YOUR IP ADDRESS HAS EDIT PERMISSIONS.  
==> OPEN FILE “T3R3Z1_LOG”  
OPENING FILE...  
<file>  
TH1S 1S TH3 LOG OF T3R3Z1 PYROP3, 1NV3ST1G4TOR 3XTR4ORD1N41R3, ON H3R M1SS1ON TO BR1NG TH3 P3RP3TR4TORS OF TH3 GR34T3ST CR1M3 3V3R COM1TT3D TO JUST1C3  
TH3 CONT3NTS OF TH1S LOG 4R3 100% 4CCUR4T3  
...  
1025: CONT4CT  
1025 4DD3NDUM: 4LL LOC4T3D B4R K4RK4T  
</file>  
==> WRITE LINE "1026: M1SS1ON SUCC3SS" HEX=# 008282  
LINE ADDED TO FILE.  
==> END

\-----

\-----

ectoBiologist  [EB] began pestering carcinoGeneticist  [CG] at 3:54pm.

\-----

**Ω**


End file.
